In my first post about birth I shared a little bit of my journey to embracing the idea of giving birth, naturally.  I shared why I am passionate about it and the things surrounding the birth process that I am passionate about.  In this post I will share with you in more detail some of those beautiful things about the birth process that tug at my heart and intellect.  Maybe it can inspire a young woman out there to consider this road less traveled, or a first time mom considering her options, or a third time mom who wants a better experience.  Perhaps, it may even inspire a spark of excitement to share this with a husband or boyfriend as a means of really being involved in a meaningful, active, encouraging and mindful way in the labor and birth of their family.

My awesome midwife Shannon pulling my 5th born out of the water

I am so dumbfounded by the total lack of a desire that so many women and couples possess when it comes to learning about pregnancy and giving birth.  Before you criticize that statement let me just paint a picture for you.  A couple gets engaged, they book the wedding venue, and then they spend the next several months-even YEARS planning their perfect day that is over in a matter of hours.    The bride will spend countless hours on pinterest, scanning magazines, shopping for accessories, dresses, flowers, making time to visit reception halls, making centerpieces, etc etc etc. She will have a wedding shower to collect things she feels she needs to get life started off in the right cozy direction.  Don’t get me wrong, I love all that, but it is all for a day that is over so quickly and has little to no bearing on how the marriage starts off.  We do the same thing when the couple expects their first baby.  Planning a shower, coming up with a cute theme, decorating, food, etc etc.  the whole family pitches in their time, efforts and finances to make these special events happen.  But suggesting that they should prepare for the actual birth of their child by taking some classes?  This is seen as something non-essential, or something that can be handled very generically but their hospital in an afternoon class, and nothing could be farther from the truth.

I think the church ought to be leading the charge for natural birth and I’m going to share with you the reasons I love so much about why the birth process is not just physical, but spiritual, and why we ought to be looking at it from this perspective a bit more.

The medical community and our culture in general has done a great disservice to women by portraying the pain of childbirth as its chief characteristic, as well as the one thing that serves no purpose and so can be safely avoided with no real consequences.

Now, whether you are afraid of childbirth or not, you still need to be well prepared, and even if you think you know what you need to know, I can almost guarantee your husband or partner does not, and it is just as important for them to know what’s going on as for your midwife to know what’s going on.

My husband holding baby Quincy just after the cord was cut

Here are my top considerations I think every woman should ponder before saying “no” to a good labor and birth class.

A natural birth is safer

Natural birth-free of drugs- is inherently safer because that is how it is designed to work!  Our bodies have been specifically designed to give birth successfully without intervention in most cases. We are thankful for the medical advances that have been made that save the lives of mothers and babies, however, many of the interventions most common are not life-saving, and in fact, lead to more complications.  This is why my heart breaks to hear people say they would rather just have an epidural!  They literally do not know what they are signing up for.  They don’t know that they are increasing risks to themselves and their babies.  They are further unaware that these drugs do indeed get to their baby and can greatly impede the birth process.  There are so many practical, scientific reasons for pursuing a natural birth that I couldn’t possibly cover them all.  However, I want to cover more of the spiritual aspects in this post.

The birth process is reflective of Christian life and living

If God designed labor, why do we not trust it?  If we see pain in child birth as purely part of our curse through Eve, we are missing a bigger picture I think is evident throughout the scripture.  God redeems, and is redeeming, all things.  Is there a sin so great that God is not working to redeem in the life of you, believer?  When we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, do we fear evil?  When we walk through trials in this life, is there not comfort from the Holy Spirit, encouragement form other believers, and reward when we stand firm?  Labor is such a beautiful picture of all that we walk out in our Christian Faith.  Birth, reflective of our faith journey, requires faith, trust, toil, perseverance, uncertainty, dependance on, and encouragement from others who love us, determination, vulnerability, and brokenness.  Women have the unique gift of painting this beautiful picture when they are bringing a life into the world.  They display it to their husbands, and anyone else present at the birth.  And they can share it with others in a beautiful, and positive light when they share their stories.  There are spiritual truths hidden in the mundane all around us, and labor and birth is no exception.

My friend Sarah leaning on her husband during her labor

Finding the blessings in our curse

The curse of working the ground to get food was Adam’s bit, but God redeemed that partially when he put in Adam a desire to work, and to take pride in, and find some fulfillment in, his toil.  Increased pain in childbirth was Eve’s bit of the curse and I don’t think we pay attention enough to the hidden redemption of that.  Women are blessed to have their toil, their pain, their curse, redeemed as well.  We labor and experience much pain, and uncertainty but at then end we hold a baby, we have a new life, and joy.   Of course these redemptive themes are not complete here on earth, but can we at least agree that they are present?  We do not always see the  redemptive end of the work- sometimes we toil but have nothing to show for it, or a woman labors but her baby does not live.  But the picture is there, and we can take part in it and embrace it because He works all things together for our good who love him and are called according to His purpose, rather than avoid it because it is part of the curse.

Trials are to be faced and walked through, not avoided and put off.

I love this one so much!  Again, the birth process is reflective of our Christian walk.  We will face trials.  We are not called to avoid them, or to put off dealing with them.  We are called to face them and walk through them in faith.  Trials do something to us, God uses them to refine us, to draw us closer to Him, to build relationship and dependence on Him.  We can rest in this when we face labor.  Labor is a perfect picture of this.  We learn something through this process, we learn something about ourselves, we learn how to trust God’s design, even when it is hard, even hen we think we will not make it.  We are brought to the very end of ourselves,

“We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed…” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Don’t avoid pain- face it. There is a greater reward when we walk through something.  Even though you come through a drugged labor with a baby at the end, there is something you gave up when you gave up the process in order to avoid being uncomfortable.

The second part of that verse is just as much a beautiful picture of birth-

“We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”  2 Corinthians 4:10

The Bible refers to life coming through death a lot.  I guess you could say it is a major theme…so are we surprised that he gave a reminder to us in his design of birth?  Labor is hard stuff, you die to yourself, and literally may think you are going to die doing this task, in order to bring forth life.  It is just such a beautiful picture!  And he gave it to us in such a real and tangible way.  Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for it.  Is that hard? You bet.  Do we find ways for men to do it so that it doesn’t hurt so much? Nope.  Just wouldn’t be the same now would it?

The joy of the moment of birth

The joy and relief and accomplishment of such a feat is felt by all who are present

We are able to lean on our husbands and let them lead us in the birth of the family.

Oh, this is a controversial one, I know.  But really, again with the pictures ,I like pictures.  But you know what?  So does God, so did Jesus on this earth. The Bible is full of pictures for us to better understand spiritual truths, so I’m not gonna apologize.  The picture, the beauty of a husband being a pillar for his strong yet broken wife as she labors for her family is perhaps one of the best pictures of the entire birth process.  Here he is, knowing what she is going through is necessary, knowing it is painful, knowing that she needs his strength, she needs his strong arms to hold her up, she needs his encouragement, leadership, prayers and empathy, and knowing that she will come out the other end of it with joy inexpressible.  How this is a beautiful metaphor for the strong and gentle leadership that will be called upon to give to his family.  In this act of birth he is able to show leadership by learning about this process…he does not abdicate leadership because it is  a “woman’s concern” to bring his children into the world.  He does not step aside as a blundering fool and let the doctor take over as he sweats in a corner not knowing what to do for his wife.  He does not step aside unable to help her as an anesthesiologist swoops in to save the day.  Oh….it is lovely to see a couple labor together, supporting each other in this great work.

Because God redeems all things, and uses all things He can and does, certainly use whatever birth experience you have to teach you and shape you.  

I hope this was not too opinionated for too many of you.  I do not intend for this to be condemning of anyone’s choice, only an encouragement to see birth through a different lens.  There are obviously situations which prohibit the natural process and I don’t mean to dismiss them, only to shed light on the decision every woman must make about how she will prepare to bring her child into this word, and to encourage her to reach higher, do her homework, and invest in this event more than she invested in her bridal shower, wedding, or baby shower, I know it’s not as glamorous, but it is infinitely more important.

Can we look at our bodies as part of something bigger than the physical when it comes to birth?  Can we see the greater picture which has been majestically painted by our loving creator before the dawn of time?  Can we rejoice in the opportunity we have to take part in this song?  Can we embrace the beauty that is labor, natural labor, painful labor, life-giving labor?  Can we see the picture of “this is my body broken for you” ? Can we with joy then offer to this new life “this is my body, take and eat.” ?

Can we see the value in being an active participant in the bringing forth of life rather than a passive vessel through which a life is brought forth?

There is such a difference ladies.  Can we arm our minds with knowledge about ourselves rather than abdicate it all to a medical professional?  Don’t give away this precious gift so easily!  You have been given the gift of being a “life bearer” DO the bearing.  DO the work.  GIVE birth, don’t be “delivered” of your baby.  Be an Eve, who said “with the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.” Genesis 4:1b and reflect the picture:                                                                                                “this is my body broken for you” and “this is my body, take and eat.”                         Mathew 26:26 Mark 14:22 Luke 22:19 

*photo credits- Christy Renee Photography