Infant Potty Training, EC, Elimination Communication, Diaper Free Baby- it goes by many names. You may have heard of this notion — you may not have — but it’s gaining some traction and more and more people are being exposed to the idea.
I first heard about Elimination Communication in a magazine as I remember- years ago, way before I had kids or was even married! It intrigued me because I often gravitate towards things that seem to be a “better way” even if it seems more difficult and especially if it seems on the fringe. I’m a sucker for revolution and change in positive directions and I’ve always liked being at the forefront of great ideas and bringing others along with me.
So when I got pregnant I knew I wanted to learn more about this “baby potty training” idea. Thank you GOOGLE it was super easy! I typed in something like “baby potty training” and found a book called Diaper Free Baby and one other that I can’t remember the title of. I ordered both but really appreciated Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh. I latched on to the idea pretty instantly and was determined to do this thing. I told no one except my husband who — bless his heart — always gave me room to think outside the box and try whatever it was my heart desired within reason. Admittedly, he laughed at me a little, but all in good faith.
I could not wait to buy my cloth diapers which, by the way 10 years ago could only be purchased online, (the good ones). I learned that good quality pre-fold cloth diapers were not the flat white ones found at Walmart, so I ordered a bunch online along with some Thirsties covers, snappies and a Baby Bjorn baby potty and I was set.
I was so ready to learn about my baby on all fronts. Was I carrying a boy or a girl? What personality was this little person? What would they be like? Look like? Sound like? How will this baby communicate with me? There were some things that really jumped out and appealed to me about this infant potting right off the bat- first of all- a baby who could use the toilet? I’m in. Diapers and poop till they are 3 was NOT what I wanted. Second- it seemed pretty darn amazing and cool. Call me an over-achiever. But what I really loved about it was that it centered on this idea of learning to communicate with your baby. I knew that I wanted to really build a relationship with my kids, I wanted to know them and have good communication with them, and why not start right away?
Elimination Communication is the name of the game because it is all about helping your baby to understand his/her own needs- in this case- the need to eliminate- and give them a healthy, sanitary way in which to do that. When I thought about it this way it did seem really gross that we don’t give our babies the option to NOT poo and pee on themselves! To assume that a baby doesn’t the know the difference is erroneous. Babies absolutely know, we just don’t pay attention to them when they need to do it until after it’s done, essentially training them to tune out their feelings surrounding elimination and accept and grow comfortable with doing it all over themselves in a diaper. Then- we have to RE-train them out of that bad habit 2 or three years down the road.
So 10 years ago when my first baby arrived on the scene I was ready. I had no idea it would be such a helpful thing in my early postpartum weeks. First of all, I had a difficult recovery from my childbirth and a terribly difficult time breastfeeding, so I distinctly remember when I caught our first poop and pee in the potty! It was such a victory for me and fueled me to keep on going with all my ideals. I kept pressing forward with breastfeeding, I knew I would feel normal again, I knew that I could do this potty thing, and I was invigorated! It was amazing to me that it really DID work! My husband was in shock. My whole family had come to expect weird things from me as I became more and more “crunchy” (a term I had only just become aware of) and they laughed, but as they saw it actually did work over the coming months and years, they did, and do still, applaud it.
I think the benefits to EC are great, the ones that resonate with me the most and helped me stick to it even when it was difficult were-
teaching self-awareness,
teaching communication,
normalizing bodily functions,
and it creates a different perspective on babies and young children- they are waaayyy smarter than we give them credit for, and are absolutely aware of their own bodies and own feelings. It also teaches parents to be more attentive and meet real needs, and helps parents de-code fussiness and meet that particular need. Would you agree that know when your baby cries because he’s hungry, tired, wet or poopy? There’s a learning curve but we all get used to our own baby’s way of communicating those needs, and are happy to meet them, so why not meet the poopy and wet need before it becomes a full diaper? We can give them a better option than tuning it out and making a mess on themselves.
I’m not here to say that this is for everyone, but I am going to tell you it’s much more simple than you may be thinking. It can be as hard-core, or as part- time as you make it. With number 5 it was admittedly much more difficult to keep up with things, but when I woke up to the fact that I had a 17 month old who was not really getting the hang of things I knew it was my own lack of attention. I decided to give him the attention he needed and the training to tune in and within a month he began asking me to use the toilet and is now in underwear all day long. It’s truly amazing to me- still. All he needed was some time and attention and he got right on board.
So… I’ll post more on this subject in the future but hopefully this has at least whet your appetite, and you’ll come back for more, or begin researching, or read the book I mentioned. Since beginning with my first I have done E.C. with all 5 of my kids, and I would not have done it any other way!