When I was newly married, I loved the first couple of years, in which I found my groove.  I loved taking care of my home, my husband, and our little world we were creating together.  Traditions like getting a Christmas tree were such fun, and such a big deal– as the kids say nowadays, we were “adulting”.  (insert eye roll emoji)

We were both working full time, and I remember feeling like my days were hectic, and my life was full.  I had a “cleaning day” and I had to make dinner in 20 minutes or less, (thank you Rachel Ray).  Wow, I was really grown up, I was doing all the things that my culture told me I was supposed to be doing.  And I was at capacity! (insert cry-laughing emoji and eye roll)

Brandon and I newly married, with our dog Teddy.

Fast forward 12 years, I am a stay at home mom for our 5 kids, I homeschool, I am actively involved with my homeschool co-op, my husband and I teach birth classes once a week, we are the young adult “leaders” at our church, we mentor two couples, I have a business I am growing from home,  I love to renovate anything I can get my hands on, I potty train my babies and in my free time I have started a blog.  I don’t say all that to show off, I really don’t, but because I realize that this is not everyone, and I do tend to do a bit more than maybe your average person but that’s just who I am. On the other hand, I know moms who do a lot more than I do, and I just really believe that we are all given a different capacity and our only measure should be to make sure we steward it to the best of our God-given grace.

So, I don’t mean this to necessarily be a blog about “how to” anything, but as an open book of my life, and how I manage.  I intend to share what my good days and victories are, as well as what my bad days and failures are, again, to be an encouragement.  I also love the idea of being able to look back years from now to see how I’ve grown and changed.  I love getting ideas from people, and I think I’ve reached the point where  I may have enough ideas myself that they may benefit some readers out there.  If not, I’m cool with that, but I’m gonna let you all decide that.

The rest of this post is going to be devoted to just what my day and week looks like as a mom of 5 kids.

It’s crazy sometimes, and yes, sometimes I feel like locking myself in my room just for the silence it may afford me.  What I really want to do here tho, is hopefully share some practical things that have made my days run smoother.  I’ve heard from more than one mom that even though they know the over arching answer to everything is to lean on the Lord, and trust him for grace, that sometimes they want a practical “how do I manage?” answer.  So let me start by saying, yes, meet with the Lord first, and here is my practical answer:

Habit number 1: I wake up earlier than my kids EVERY morning.  I’m not kidding.  This is do-able.  If my kids are waking up at 6am I am up at 5 or 5:30.  Having that time to wake up and start my day allows me to meet them with a smile, and a sense of order.  During that time, I really try to have time before the Lord, in prayer, in Bible reading, in stillness.  And lets be clear, this does not have to take 30 minutes of your time.  If all you have is 5 minutes, then use that 5 minutes to devote yourself in prayer, and to specifically ask the Holy Spirit to help you in your day to glorify God.

Habit number 2:  After that, I make breakfast.  Don’t feel bad about simple breakfasts of scrambled eggs.  But I feel that MAKING breakfast is important. We don’t pour a bowl of carbs and sugars and call that breakfast, although sometimes I make oatmeal as a treat!  Please know I am not speaking to every woman, in every situation, but if you are capable as a human, and are not carrying a particularly heavy burden, maybe you just need this encouragement that, yes, you can step up your game with a few tweaks to your routine. If you have an older capable kid, have them make eggs for the family a couple times a week.  My seven year old loved making eggs for everyone!  This is a skill that is worth learning, and practicing.  It lets them know that they are needed as part of this family unit, and they are capable, and depended upon to carry their weight, and help out, it is also very satisfying to be treated this way, valued, and appreciated, who doesn’t need that?

Habit number 3:  I never leave the house with dishes in the sink. FOR REAL. and I don’t have a dishwasher.  This might take some extra planning on your part, but I promise you it is worth it.  Here’s why: Wherever you are going, I assure you that the last thing you want to do after accomplishing it, is come home and see a sink full of dishes.  We also have a rule in our house that we do not leave the house if there are things on the floor, or strewn about the house.  I tell my kids, “when we come home later, wouldn’t it be nice to come home and rest, and have the house ready to invite us in?”.  I have always felt that I wanted my house in order and ready to welcome anyone in on the spur of the moment. I never wanted to feel in a position where I felt I couldn’t invite someone over because there was”laundry to do” or dishes to was, or any other thing that might make me feel un able to host.  Now, I understand fully that there are tons of people out there touting the idea of “embracing your chaos” and being “real” in front of people, and somehow that means that my house needs to be a total mess, but I just don’t understand the logic of this.  I feel it is more an excuse for not managing your time or your house than it is about being transparent and real to your guests. (perhaps that is the over-achiever in me) Give yourself grace of course in those times of extra stress or a heavy load or crazy season, but if this is just your habit, then, perhaps training a new one would benefit your sanity. I’ve read so many things that have made the excuse for the mess, that having a tidy house is not real life, and therefore is not authentic.  I take exception to this, because it is real life for me!  If you are a messy person you will have a messy house, whether you have 2 kids or 10.  And if you are naturally tidy, it doesn’t matter that you have 5 kids, your house will be generally tidy.  I for sure am not claiming that my house is spotless, or that we never have toys on the floor, stuck in our sofa, dishes in our sink or dirty toilets, but I threw away the idea of a “cleaning day” or “laundry day” when I became a stay-at-home mom.  Instead I take the 2 or 3 minutes, in the moment, that it takes to scrub a toilet before I exit the bathroom, or to wash the dishes right after lunch, and if I can walk past a toy on the floor, I can certainly pick it up and bring it with me to wherever it belongs, or ask one of the kids to do it and really, how long does it take you to run a basket of dirty clothes down to your basement, throw them in and push a button?

Habit number 4:  Here’s one more practical habit- We have one plate for each child, and basically one cup for each as well.  I don’t want any more clutter than is absolutely necessary!  Do you?  Why should we have 10+ plastic cups, plates, sippy cups, forks and spoons etc. taking up an entire drawer in the kitchen for only 5 kids?  We have one glass plate and one glass cup for each of them, so that means, before we can eat again, those dishes HAVE to be washed.  I know some may be thinking this sounds like a lot more work, but that is simply because it is not part of your habit and routine.  Making a habit to wash dishes after each meal means that eventually you will do it as second nature, and what’s even better, is that you train that habit in your children. I can remember as a child the overflowing sink of dishes, I’m not exaggerating when I say that it would be so full it would overflow to the counter.  It could go days just accumulating.  And then it was a big deal to wash the dishes.  So I purposed never to have a mountain of dishes stare at me unless we just happen to have a lot of dirty dishes all from one meal!  Even the way I stack them in the sink helps me feel better about it, yes, I stack dirty dishes carefully and in an organized fashion so there is a method to the madness and it doesn’t look as daunting.  All these little things help me to not feel overwhelmed by my daily tasks.  One more thought on laundry: if you can go a week or more without doing laundry— you have too many clothes.  Get rid of some!  You know as well as I do that kids really have like two or three outfits they wear all the time anyway, so do yourself and the earth a big favor and limit your kid’s wardrobe.  You’ll be forced to stay up with the laundry, and it will never get out of control.

This is of course not meant to be an exhaustive list of what my life looks like or how I manage everything my day demands but I plan on writing more posts on similar topics, and really, I want your feedback!  Let me know what your biggest mountains are, maybe I have insight because of what I’ve learned, maybe I don’t yet, but throw some ideas my way for my next post. blessings!